what she says: “Oh I don’t mind; we can eat anywhere. I’m not picky.”
what she means: “For my entire life, I’ve been called bossy/picky/selfish/arrogant/bitchy for voicing my own opinions and making my views known, so now when someone I care about asks me about what I want, my immediate gut reaction is to defer to the other person’s preference. it’s less of a hassle to capitulate to someone else’s desires than to risk having someone verbally berate me for being truthful about what I want.”
No one talks about how seeing celebrities in real life breaks your brain.
For example, a few days ago, at a nice little bakery near Byron Bay, I ordered an iced latte and stepped to the side to wait, I was one of only a two or three people in line. A few moments later everyone else has their drinks, and a gentleman walks up to the counter with his wife and his dog.
It’s a cute dog, it’s a beautiful lady, it’s a handsome man.
Wait, that’s not a handsome man.
That’s a handsome Chris Hemsworth.
It occurs to me that this man is, in fact, the god of thunder, the cute dumb possessed one from ghostbusters, the huntsman from that one Snow White remake with Bella from twilight. Yes, that is Chris Hemsworth.
Now, I’m torn because while the counter staff are (understandably) fawning over the celebrity who they seem to have encountered a few times before, my iced latte has been forgotten. I’m standing to the side, two feet from Chris Hemsworth trying to decide wether to focus on him, or his dog.
His back is to me, he has a very cute dog.
I focus on the dog.
A while passes and Chris and his dog and his wife start to leave, and then they’re walking away which is fine. A lady behind the counter looks at me.
“You had the latte?” She says, grabbing the milk jug from under the steamer.
“Iced latte.” Her coworker corrects her, pouring my drink, “I’ve got it.”
He looks to me, “sorry for the wait, we were a bit disracted.”
“Yeah, I get it,” I say, “that was a really cute dog.”
They stare at me.
They think I’m serious.
I look like a fool.
“I’m kidding.” I say finally and they both laugh as he hands me my beverage, after fifteen minutes of waiting.
I wasn’t mad that I had to wait.
I get it.
But now, a few days later, a gif crosses my dash, one of Chris Hemsworth; a blooper from Thor: Ragnarok.
Before now I’d think “wow what an attractive man. Beautiful. Stunning.”
Now all I can think is “that man made me wait fifteen minutes for a latte.”
It’s fine.
I got my drink.
However, Thor in my mind is no longer Thor…. he is latte man.
when you need to be at comic con by 5 but voting polls close at 4
In the name of the moon…
I’ll vote you out!
i took the SAT in 2007 dressed as Light Yagami for this reason, thereby alienating everyone else taking the test because they thought i was a major douchebag in an inexplicable and unnecessary blazer and tie. which i guess means my cosplay was very effective.
this is basically the mirror-image of that, and way batter.
Honestly, my favorite thing at the moment is all the marvel headcanons where Hela wasn’t cray-cray homicidal, and she’s an overprotective bitchy sister.
Bras last longer if you let them air dry. Don’t put them in the dryer.
If you have a problem with frizzy hair, don’t dry your hair with a towel. It makes the frizzies worse. (I recently read an article that said to use a t-shirt? I brush mine out and let it air dry.)
Whites wash best in hot water. Everything else can be in cold – save on your electricity bill.
You can kill 99.9% of germs in a sponge by putting it in the dishwasher for a cycle or by microwaving it for 2 min (be sure to make the sponge damp before microwaving and to put a cup half full of water in with it and please DO NOT squeeze the sponge until it has cooled off)
Airing out your room/house and letting sunlight in every so often can decrease the number of household pests like silverfish and ants.
Black underwear is best during your period as stains are less likely to be visible.
To save money, put aside 10% of each paycheck into a savings account. It’ll add up.
Unless your hair has something on/in it (like grease or mud or something), using conditioner first can actually be the better choice. The conditioner holds in the good oils that help you hair look sleek and beautiful, which shampoo would otherwise wash away.
Speaking of shampoo – if you have long hair, washing just the bits that touch your scalp is generally enough. The rest of your hair gets cleaned with just the run off from your scalp.
If you put a tampon in and it’s uncomfortable/you can feel it, you didn’t do it quite right. A properly placed tampon is virtually unnoticeable by the wearer.
Apply deodorant/antiperspirant a couple hours in advance of when you need it. This gives the product the chance to block your sweat glands. Using deodorant just before going somewhere where you’ll sweat (this means walking outside for people in high humidity places) results in your sweat washing the deodorant off and starkly limiting its usefulness.
After running the dryer, use the dryer sheet from that load to brush out the lint catch – it gets everything off in a fraction of the time it’ll take you to get it clean with your bare hands. Paper towels also work well.
Wash your face everyday, or as often as possible. Forget which brand of cleanser is best. Just washing your face everyday will guarantee you clearer skin. And do you best not to pop pimples, as tempting as the urge may be.
Fold laundry asap after taking it from the dryer to avoid wrinkles. This may seem obvious for dress shirts and silly for things like t-shirts, but you’ll notice the difference even then once your shirts stop looking like unfolded paper balls.
To all the kids whose parents couldn’t help you with this kind of stuff
Addition: the natural acidity of a vagina can bleach the gusset on darker underwear. It’s perfectly normal.
Help Me Improve My Art 