Help Me Improve My Art

yotsubamessenger5:

Game: You seem to be having a lot of trouble! Would you like to skip this stage?

Me:

damselindeduction:

disastergeek:

writernotwaiting:

mastreworld:

angryschnauzer:

cumaeansibyl:

elodieunderglass:

iwasawas-strings:

legolokiismighty:

theprettiestboy:

sillysadskeleton:

mazarinedrake:

Donald Trump is exactly the kind of person that Jesus would have thrown out of the temple and beaten with a stick, and the fact that so many self-identified Christians want to put him in office tells you pretty everything wrong with white American Christianity. 

Because Jesus had authority at temples and beat people.

I 100% can’t tell if you’re joking here but he actually did chase people out of a temple at least once for using religion for their own selfish gains, complete with literal table flipping and improvised whips

So really it’s not that he would have trump thrown out as much as he would storm in and accuse him of turning his father’s house into a den of thieves before upending a table on his head

Dude, Jesus not only chased them out, he broke stuff they were selling, let loose all of their animals, and fucking flipped all the money-changing tables.

Jesus 100% would have been chasing Trump out with a table leg.

Canon Jesus 10000% better than fanon Jesus

Canon Jesus did some very weird shit. Like, just before throwing the market out of the temple, he stole a donkey, then cursed a fig tree because it didn’t have any fruit on it. The next day, or possibly immediately, everyone was amazed that the fig tree he had cursed was withered. He must’ve been in a fuckin weird mood. Going through a Dark Period. The Chaotic Mage of Light losing his shit just a little bit.

“So, what the fuck was that, Jesus?” someone asked as they’re all looking at the horribly withered corpse of the poor cursed tree.

“The power of prayer,” Jesus said absently.

“… wait, is cursing literally a form of prayer? Because some Wiccans are going to be really upset about that, like, they have a whole threefold law thing, is this… okay?”

“Listen,” said Jesus, “If I tell a mountain to get back in the sea? The mountain will get in the fucking sea. Do you want me to tell you to get in the sea?”

And they were all like, “Good demo, Jesus. Good lesson.”

Meanwhile, he was having the aforementioned public brawl in the temple.

Just keep that in mind during this election cycle – viable answers for What Would Jesus Do include flipping tables, stealing animals and striking down shrubbery with magic, all in one week.

Before Holy Week in the church calendar comes the lesser-known festival of Christ Doesn’t Give A Fuck Week

I now have a mental image of Jesus as Negan from the walking dead, dolling out justice on religious heathens with a table leg studded with nails.

The fig tree incident happened because he was hungry and couldn’t find any fruit on it. Anyone who’s experienced low blood sugar can relate to that tantrum.

Jesus was hangry.

I believe this is my favorite post ever.

My favorite part of the “flipping tables at the temple” story is that before any of that went down, Jesus went out and wove his own whip with which to drive these people out.

I like to imagine him being just so angry, muttering under his breath while he braided together the scourge.

These mofos come into MY Father’s house…

sabertoothwalrus:

ctimbro93:

ctimbro93:

Things they don’t tell you about top surgery

– Talk to the surgeon about the size you want your new areolas/nipples (don’t be afraid to ask)

– Numbness. No one talks about this for guys who are about to have surgery. You’re going to be numb all in your chest area, especially where the incisions were. They cut nerves as they pass along your chest, and it can take up to a year to regenerate those nerves. Still, feels super foreign for the first two weeks

– Make your bed into a pillow chair, body pillow, two on each side, and two for your head. 

– Sleep alone. I tried to sleep with my girlfriend and it was miserable. You really do need the entire bed for yourself

– Go on Groupon, & get yourself a 10 foot lightning cable iPhone charger, BEST THING EVER, can reach from wherever you are

– Don’t take a week off from work, take two. You will regret the one week, and love the extra time

– When they say “don’t move too much, even after the first week”. LISTEN. I moved way too much and got so sore super quickly. 

– Drink lots of water & eat if your taking the pain medication, otherwise your stomach feels super funky.

– Get stool softeners, & don’t be afraid to take those babies. Don’t wait a week to poop. you’ll surely regret it. 

– The drains are scary & they may hurt while draining or rewrapping your dressings, but once they come out, the second they do, its no more pain, its crazy. 

i hope this helps someone, because i wish i knew all of this when i was having mine a month ago. Looking back its like everyone forgets all the real negatives, its a great experience, & i healed very well & quick compared to most, but the first few days are crazy. They hurt, suck but it gets better. 

To the few guys I know having surgery this week!

-the headache you get a couple days after the surgery because the anesthesia is leaving your body hurts 200 times more than the surgery itself. And even that isn’t too bad.

-after a week or, you ITCH. It’s awful. Try not to touch your stitches too much. An ice pack will help.

profeminist:

millennial-review:

Believe it, and use your privilege to DEAL WITH IT.